The following blog is reprinted from the Child Welfare League of America (CWLA) blog.

The Every Child Deserves a Family Act (S. 1770) was the topic of a Congressional briefing today organized by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand’s (D-NY) office. Advocates from LGBT and Adoption organizations engaged in a panel discussion about the bill and its promise of expanding the number of eligible families for children awaiting adoption.

Emily Hecht of the Family Equality Council explained precedence for and the logistics of nondiscrimination policies. She described the ease of implementing S. 1770 by pointing to the Department of Health and Human Services’ (HHS) existing support and technical assistance regarding LGBT nondiscrimination in adoptions. Rhodes Perry of Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) agreed that Every Child Deserves a Family is good policy and described how it will produce savings by shifting children in care to permanent families. Ellen Kahn with the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) talked about her organization’s direct work with public child welfare agencies and how passing the bill would lift barriers to accessing certain training funds in addition to preventing case-halting discrimination by individuals working in adoptions. Nicole Dobbins of Voice for Adoption (VFA) described the youth waiting for adoption: that they tend to be older, have special needs, have been in several foster care placements, and are often in sibling groups. She attested to their strong desire for a permanent family without concern of the family’s make up.

Voice for Adoption holds an annual Adoptive Family Portrait Project engaging Congressional members in celebrating November as National Adoption Month. This year over 60 Senators and Representatives participated by posting a picture of an adoptive family from their constituency. The portraits depict a diverse group of adoptive families, including those headed by LGBT parents. The last panelist of the briefing was Mathew Reynell whose family portrait is posted in Senator Gillibrand’s office. Mr. Reynell and his partner adopted their son James from foster care just a couple of years ago. Mr. Reynell described the adoption process and how much positive socio-emotional and educational progress James has made since joining their family. He credits the love of a forever family as the best medicine for struggling children.

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The following post was written for the Cardozo Journal of Law and Gender blog by Heron Greenesmith, legislative counsel at the Family Equality Council.

Until September of 2010, the State of Florida banned lesbian, gay, and bisexual parents from adopting their children. To be precise, Florida law prohibited an otherwise eligible person from adopting if that person was a “homosexual.”  Interestingly, Florida law allowed lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) parents to foster children; in fact many LGBT parents were encouraged to foster multiple children, but they were barred from ever legally acknowledging their parent-child relationship.  This blatant contratiction in state law led to an appellate court overturning the ban on LGBT adoption. In re Gill, 45 So. 3d 79 (Fla. 3d DCA 2010) confirmed the lower court’s finding that there was no rational basis for the ban.

In re Gill was decided almost 15 years after our highest court found that an anti-LGBT law lacked rational basis: Romer v. Evans, 517 U.S. 620 (1996).  Colorado voters had approved a referendum that prevented any town, city, or county in the state from enacting any kind of law that would protect against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.  Kennedy wrote the decision for the Supreme Court, finding that a state law does not pass rational basis if it is driven by animus towards a specific class of people.

These decisions are shaping the future of state adoption and non-discrimination law. For more, click here.

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After all, I was already a very unlikely child. Born to a drug-addicted mother who was pregnant with me while she was in prison, I was saved by her inability to feed her addiction behind bars. She had already been through five abortions and the doctors did not think her womb could support life. But I was a “fighting fetus.” I was determined to get born! Once I was, I was adopted by my father and his partner. Their families shunned me initially because of my race and difficult background. My father thought about how—with a story like that—I had enough challenges in store for me, and he did not want me to have to answer for his sexuality too. Deep down though, the pit in his stomach told him that it was inevitable. To read more, click here.

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The following blog is by Adam Pertman, Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and Author of “Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming Our Families – and America”

News flash: Today, in every state in America, gay fathers and lesbian mothers are raising children. For a range of reasons, not everyone in our country likes or wants to accept this reality, but it is a reality nevertheless. And it is also true that adoption – primarily of “waiting” children and youth from foster care – is one of the reasons for this growing phenomenon. As National Adoption Awareness Month (also known to many as “November”) comes to a close, I’m happy to report that research and experience show that non-heterosexual parents bring up their children as thoughtfully, competently and with as positive results as their straight counterparts. For more, click here.

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On Sunday, November 20, Family Equality Council joins with our partners in commemorating The Transgender Day of Remembrance and will take time to remember those in our community who have lost their lives to violence.

As we reflect on the many strides the LGBT community has made in recent months, we also are faced with the stark reality that transgender people are still among the most vulnerable populations in the U.S. today.

To see just how widespread the discrimination and violence experienced by transgender and gender non-conforming people is, take a look at Injustice at Every Turn, published last February by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. Some alarming facts from the report:

• More than 90 percent of transgender people experience harassment and mistreatment in the workplace, with nearly half being fired or denied a promotion.
• Those who expressed a transgender identity or gender non-conformity while in grades K-12 reported alarming rates of harassment (78%), physical assault (35%) and sexual violence (12%); harassment was so severe that it led almost one-sixth (15%) to leave a school in K-12 settings or in higher education.
• Fifty-three percent (53%) of respondents reported being verbally harassed or disrespected in a place of public accommodation, including hotels, restaurants, buses, airports and government agencies.
• Respondents experienced widespread abuse in the public sector, and were often abused at the hands of “helping” professionals and government officials. One fifth (22%) were denied equal treatment by a government agency or official; 29% reported police harassment or disrespect; and 12% had been denied equal treatment or harassed by judges or court officials.

And to read about the additional and unique challenges that parents who are transgender face, please read All Children Matter, a report detailing the inequities facing LGBT-headed families across the U.S.

As we commemorate those we’ve lost during this 13^th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, we renew our commitment to ensuring that all of America’s families are valued, respected and treated equally.

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The following blog was written in honor of National Adoption Month by Diane Tomaz, a Child Services Coordinator at the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange and an adoptive parent of two boys.

Shelley Hull and Diane Tomaz with their sons, Christian and Dominic

National Adoption Month is not on my five year old son’s radar, but he was very excited to have his two moms visit his kindergarten class to talk about adoption. We were excited, too, but we were also daunted by the task of explaining something complex in simple enough terms that his classmates could understand. We wanted our short time in the classroom to be fun, but informative.   What we discovered is that five-year-olds already know a lot about families, the differences within and between families and what families need.  Just ask them about who looks or doesn’t look like whom in their family.  Or who has brown eyes, green eyes, curly hair, or straight hair and who doesn’t.   Ask them who lives in their house and you’ll get answers that range from my mom, dad, three brothers, two sisters and Nana to me and my mom. Ask them what children need and they’ll come up with a proficient list including milk, water, love, parents, shelter, and diapers.

We also knew from the outset that we wanted to read Fred Rogers’s Let’s Talk About Adoption; it is straightforward and relevant to all kinds of adoption, and we thought we’d answer some follow up questions and be done.

Our son had other ideas.

When we told him of our plan, we reassured him that we wouldn’t read his adoption story.  He wondered why we weren’t planning to read his adoption book to the class. As his moms, we had never considered sharing his personal story, at least not in detail, with his classmates.  His adoption book, a story we wrote about how our family came to be, felt somehow too personal or that it could somehow make our son feel too different from his classmates, but it was actually what he was most excited about. The amazing truth is that our son was not worried, and we were thrilled by the affirmation from the kids themselves that all families are wonderfully different.

Talking to our son’s class about adoption revealed a few surprises for his moms:

1. As I said, our son wanted to share his own story. Sort of. He wanted us to do all the reading, all of the talking, all of the explaining. While I, Mommy, read his adoption story, he sat snugly on his Mama’s lap, beaming proudly.  At the end, he asked if we could leave the book behind for his friends to take a closer look. It was clear that he wanted them to know and appreciate this part of him.

2. The children were not confused by the concept of adoption. When I asked if anyone knew what the word meant, one child responded, “It’s when you join a family who will love you and take care of you.” Yes! How simple, how perfect.

3. The kids wanted to relate and to share their own experiences. We asked lots of open ended questions that invited them to become part of the conversation: Who are the people in your family? Do you all look alike? How do you look different? How do your parents care for you?

4. I was glad that we had a loose structure for how we wanted the conversation to flow because the time passed quickly and the class steered it in different directions at times. Near the end, our son’s teacher asked if we had named him or if he had his name at the time of placement. We never could have predicted that our time would end listening to sweet stories of how each kindergartener came to be named, the meanings of names, and even a story or two about the names they were almost given.

The surprises made the experience so much richer for our family. Every child is different in how she or he wants their story to be shared. Or not shared, for that matter.  For our son, our visits to his classroom have been partly about showcasing his family, something that is important to children at this stage in development, and largely about answering his classmates’ questions about having two moms, about having a brother of a different race, and about what it means to be adopted. We are on this journey together, supporting one another, and honoring our story of family.

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The following post is written by Bill Lorenz,  Family Equality Council Director of Finance and Administration, and is presented as part of our month-long focus on adoption and the Every Child Deserves a Family Act.

After years of wanting, months of planning and even more months of waiting, the dream of creating a family is now becoming a reality for my partner and me.  As I look back on our journey, the path to parenthood looks very different now than it did when we took our first steps.  Starting out, we immediately found ourselves at a crossroads and had to make some very important decisions on what direction to take.  We agreed that adopting through foster care was the best fit for us.  Aside from the fact that surrogacy was cost-prohibitive; being biologically connected to our child wasn’t a priority for either of us.  Private adoption was a close runner up, but ultimately, we recognized and appreciated that there are so many children in the foster care system that need a forever home.  So, that was it, we turned our sites on the foster care system and started on our way. 

The first milestone to cross was finding an agency to work with us.  I’ll admit that I was leery about how a gay couple (even in Massachusetts) would be received by the system.  Would they hold us in the same regard as our straight counterparts?  Both my partner and I always dreamed of having a son.  Would they shut us out from adopting a boy just because we are men?  Would we wait longer than others because we are not as a desirable match as a heterosexual couple might be?  From the very beginning the agencies we contacted embraced us and assured us that we would be matched with children based on our ability to care for the child and provide a loving home and not by our identity.  The mandatory training course that we took was taught by a lesbian mom who had also adopted through foster care years before.  In our class was another gay couple.  The panelist of adoptive parents who came into class to share their adoption stories also included a gay couple.  The resource materials we were given included information for LGBT families.   It was so impressive how inclusive the Massachusetts system is of the LGBT community.   When we finished the pre-work and began ramping up the matching process, our positive experiences continued and we soon accepted that our identity as a gay couple would not influence access or decisions on the part of those charged with finding permanent and loving homes for awaiting children.

At the beginning, we imagined adopting a child, a very young child, no older than three.  And no way could we handle more than one!  But at the end of the road, our destination found us at the feet of a sibling group of school-aged brothers, one of whom has involved special care needs.  The Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange works to facilitate matches for children who are typically harder to find adoptive homes for because they are in sibling groups, are older, and/or have special needs.  They post profiles and pictures on line and even hold adoption events where prospective parents can interact with social workers and awaiting children.  We were immediately drawn to the profile of two little brothers, feeling some kind of strange connection when we read about them and watched a video of them playing and talking about themselves.  When we finally met them, we instantly formed an inexplicable bond with them.  In the spark of a moment my partner and I knew that we were destined to be the fathers of these boys.  Sure, they were older than we had imagined and certainly the number of kids has now doubled from what we originally planned on.  But when it’s right, it’s right.  And it feels so right.

We learned that the boys had been living in separate foster homes for years and there was serious consideration being given to adopting them out separately, since it is so difficult to find adoptive parents who want more than one child at a time.   It was not looking good that these boys would ever find a home together.   We all found each other just in time.

I wonder about those states where the LGBT community is restricted from adopting through foster care; how many sibling groups are permanently ripped apart simply because there is no one to adopt them?  What if my boys had lived in one of those states?  Chances are, they would either age out of the foster care system or be adopted out to separate families.  Luckily, we’ll never know.  As we move forward to finalizing our adoption, my boys now finally have their forever home and will grow up together as it should be.  They will never know the pain of separation again.  My partner and I will finally realize our dream of becoming parents.   I can’t help but feeling lucky- lucky to live in a state that recognizes that my ability to parent a child is not defined by my gender or sexual identity.  But many LGBT people, single or coupled, are not so lucky.  They are still barred from adopting through foster care.  But, who’s more unlucky?  Is it the LGBT couple who want to adopt but can’t or those thousands of single and sibling groups of children in the system who are needlessly waiting to find their forever home.     For our boys, it matters not that they now have two dads, but that they have a loving and permanent place to call home…together.

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November is National Adoption Month, a time set aside each year by child welfare and family advocacy groups to raise awareness about the plight of the more than 404,000 children living in foster care.

This year, we have reason to believe that the message is getting out.

From the President to Congress to the media, the growing chorus is that every child deserves a family.

Last week, President Obama issued a proclamation in recognition of National Adoption Month that clearly expresses his belief that adoptive families come in all forms.

It also represents his belief and ours that adoption decisions should be based on the best interests of children and that all qualified caregivers should be allowed to serve as adoptive parents.  The reality of today’s America is that LGBT families are part of the fabric of this country and his statement reaffirms the President’s support of our community.

The proclamation follows another supportive statement issued by the White House last week regarding the Every Child Deserves a Family Act.

Family Equality Council has been working for some time on this important legislation and we are now thrilled that ECDF has been introduced in the Senate by lead sponsor Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D- NY).

If enacted, it would dramatically increase the access foster children have to permanent and stable homes by discouraging state laws, policies and practices that exclude potential adoptive and foster parents because of their marital status, sexual orientation or gender identity.

A companion bill (H.R. 1681) was introduced in the House last May by Representative by Rep. Pete Stark  (D- CA) during National Foster Care Awareness Month. The House bill now has 80 bi-partisan co-sponsors.

In addition to the President, Senator Gillibrand, Representative Stark and lawmakers in Congress elevating discussion of this issue, this month, we are hearing more about it in the media.

Family Equality Council, in cooperation with the Center for American Progress and the Movement Advancement Project recently published the “All Children Matter Report”, a comprehensive report on the LGBT family.

The  groundbreaking new report released  shows how two million children have become collateral damage of decades of ideology, laws and policies designed to hurt lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) Americans.

The report findings include evidence that a patchwork of discriminatory state laws and policies  are excluding qualified LGBT parents from the pool of foster and adoptive parents. Those policies are in effect denying homes to the 115,000 children who are eligible for adoption each year.

The report includes a recommendation that Congress pass the the Every Child Deserves a Family Act, which would discourage states from keeping those laws and policies on the books.

The release of the report generated a great deal of media attention with the articles printed in hundreds of print and online publications nationwide. Family Equality Council was proud to help educate the public through some of those media interviews including one on MSNBC.

In spite of this growing national dialogue on adoption, there is reason for continued urgency.

Each year, 25,000 children age out of the foster care system without finding their forever family.

That is why the Family Equality Council is now reaching out and asking you to become involved in our campaign this month.

1.) Tell your members of Congress to end systematic discrimination and support the Every Child Deserves a Family Act. Let your senators and representative know that you think that every qualified family should have an equal opportunity to open their home to a child who needs a family.

2.) Support our work on Capitol Hill. Our staff are hard at work, educating lawmakers and building support for ECDF. This bill has been one of our major legislative initiatives, and we’ve seen great success. 80 representatives are now co-sponsoring ECDF, more than ever before. And, for the very first time, ECDF has been introduced into the Senate. Your support will allow us to keep our team in front of decision makers until this legislation becomes law.
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In addition to being National Adoption Month, November is also a time when Americans give thanks for our blessings. This month, let’s work together so that every child has the opportunity to give thanks for the blessings of family.

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As the Affordable Care Act becomes law over the next few years, we here at Family Equality will continue to submit comments to ensure that health care reform includes all families, including LGBT-headed families.  Below are the comments we submitted today on preventing discrimination.  Click here to read other comments and submit your own.

October 31, 2011

The Honorable Kathleen Sebelius

Secretary of Health and Human Services

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

200 Independence Avenue, SW

Washington, DC 20201

RE: [CMS-9989-P] RIN 0938-AQ67 – Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act; Establishment of Exchanges and Qualified Health Plans

Dear Secretary Sebelius:

Family Equality Council is the national organization working to ensure full social and legal equality for the approximately 1 million lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) parents raising more than 2 million children across the U.S. by providing direct support, educating the American public, and securing inclusion in legislation, policies, and practices impacting families. On behalf of our families, we would like to thank the Secretary and the Department for their commitment to the health of all Americans.  The Affordable Care Act provides a rich opportunity to ensure that underinsured individuals and families across the country have the opportunity to access necessary care.  In particular, the formation of the Exchanges and the Qualified Health Plans (QHPs) will assist underserved populations to afford previously unattainable comprehensive coverage.

Below we offer specific recommendations on the regulations that specifically impact LGBT parents and their children.   First, however, we would like to echo the concerns of our colleagues and recommend that the Exchanges and QHPs be implemented with culturally competent and linguistically appropriate care to ensure we are reaching traditionally underserved populations.

Nondiscrimination

We appreciate the explicit inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity in the non-discrimination provision.  We urge HHS, however, to issue guidance soon after the publication of the final rule explaining the scope of discrimination protections on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.  A description of the types of discrimination against LGBT people that are prohibited by the non-discrimination rule should include discrimination on the basis of whether a family relationship is legally recognized by the state or by the federal government. This prohibition should also include charging different rates for certain families because of their construct and refusing coverage for benefits and services available to similarly-situated families.  Insurers, employers, and providers often discriminate against same-sex couples and their children on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity by claiming an inability to recognize the familial relationship because of federal or state laws banning same-sex marriage, second-parent adoption, or other forms of relationship recognition.  State and federal laws barring relationship recognition for state and federal benefits do not prohibit QHPs from recognizing family relationships for the purposes of providing health insurance, and HHS should issue guidance to explain that this type of discrimination is prohibited in the Exchanges.

Definition of Family

The proposed regulations currently contain no definition of “family.”  Because the term is used frequently throughout the proposed rules and may cause confusion for applicants and beneficiaries, as well as the employees implementing the regulations, we recommend that HHS add a definition of “family” to 45 C.F.R. § 155.20 – Definitions and 45 C.F.R. § 156.20 – Definitions.

We propose the following definition, which is based on regulations from the Office of Personnel Management[1] and regulations implementing the Family Medical Leave Act:[2]

Family means a husband or wife as defined or recognized under State law, including common law marriage in states where it is recognized; a domestic partner or individual in a civil union as defined or recognized under State law; a biological, adoptive, step or foster parent, legal guardian, or any other individual standing in loco parentis to a child; a biological, adopted, or foster child, a stepchild, a legal ward, or a child of a person standing in loco parentis; or any other person related by blood or affinity whose close association with the person is the equivalent of a family relationship.

Rating Variations

Under the proposed regulations, the issuer of a Qualified Health Plan must cover the following groups “using some combination of the following categories”: individuals; two-adult families; one-adult families with a child or children; and all other families.  With a strong definition of family, such as the definition suggested above, LGBT families should be covered under all QHPs. Additionally, prohibiting discrimination on the bases of sexual orientation and gender identity, as well as familial and marital status should protect LGBT families from discrimination in accessing a QHP.  Without the combination of specific non-discrimination language and the broad definition of family outlined above, however, we fear that a QHP issuer may be permitted to discriminate against or exclude many LGBT families.   We therefore encourage HHS to take the above recommendations and issue further guidance and/or interpretation of 45 C.F.R. § 156.255 to ensure inclusion of LGBT families.

In conclusion, we would like to thank the Secretary and the Department of Health and Human Services for creating the opportunity to comment on the proposed regulations.  We strongly believe that if implemented with care, the Exchanges and Qualified Health Plans have the potential to allow millions of underserved Americans, including countless LGBT families, to access affordable health care.

Please feel free to contact Emily Hecht-McGowan, Director of Public Policy for Family Equality Council, with any questions either by telephone (202.496.1285) or email at ehecht@familyequality.org.

Thank you,

Jennifer Chrisler

Executive Director

Family Equality Council

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Brent, his husband Sandis, and their daughter Olivia

Yesterday, Brent Wright, our Director of Programs, testified in front of the Massachusetts Joint Committee on Education in favor of H.3584.  This bill would strengthen the current safe schools law by adding a list of enumerated characteristics on the basis of which bullying is not permitted.  Included in that list is “associational language” that protects the children of LGBT parents.

Read Brent’s testimony below.

Dear Senate Chair Chang-Diaz and House Chair Peisch:

My name is Brent Wright and I am here today to share my experiences as a teacher, a father and an advocate. In all three capacities, I testify today in support of HB 3584, relative to bullying in schools.

I would like to start by thanking Chairwoman Peisch, Chairwoman Chang-Diaz, and the entire Joint Committee on Education for holding this important hearing. I would also like to thank the Attorney General Martha Coakley for completing the necessary investigation that lead to the introduction of this crucial bill.

As the Joint Committee knows, this bill would strengthen Massachusetts’ anti-bullying law by adding three provisions: enumeration, state-wide reporting, and an extension for the commission.

I taught special education for 10 years, to children from kindergarten to high school. I taught in the functional life skills program, helping children with the most severe delays prepare to live as close to independently as possible.

Bullying was a daily concern in the classroom for our students. I worked tirelessly to ensure that mainstream students understood that children with special needs should be treated with respect and compassion. When our high school adopted a zero-tolerance policy towards bullying, I saw a marked difference in attitude and behavior among the student body. When a school, a school district, and a state have policies that explicitly say what kind of bullying is protected, the climate actually changes.

Enumeration of protected characteristics makes students feel safer because they see themselves as personally included.  Studies show that students in states with non-enumerated laws feel no safer than students in states with no law at all. In contrast, students at schools with enumerated polices report that their peers suffer far less harassment than students at schools without enumerated policies.

Enumeration is a critical tool for teachers and administrators as well because it helps them understand what constitutes bullying and empowers them to step in when they see it happening. Students in states with enumerated anti-bullying laws are twice as likely to report that their teachers intervene and stop bullying as students in states without enumeration.

As a teacher, I strongly support enumeration. Speaking from the perspective of a parent, I also support the inclusion of “associational language,” which protects students from being bullied because of who they associate with – who their friends and family are. Most importantly for me, “associational language” protects the children of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender parents.

My daughter Olivia is 2 years old. Right now she knows a world with two dads. A world where she is safe, loved and well cared for. And when she enters school in three years, I want to ensure she finds a welcoming and affirming environment where she is able to continue to grow, learn, and thrive. As a parent, I want to know that when Olivia enters school she will be respected and protected from bullying, not only for who she is, but for who her family is as well.

According to the 2010 Census, there are 3,459 same-sex couples raising nearly 7,000 children in Massachusetts. In 2008, the Family Equality Council issued a report in partnership with the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network which found that nearly half of surveyed children with LGBT parents reported experiencing verbal harassment in the previous twelve months at school because of their family composition, including negative remarks specifically about having an LGBT parent. Inclusion of associational language in anti-bullying legislation is crucial to protect children who come from families like ours.

I now work as Director of Programs at Family Equality Council.  We support and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender parents and their children. I help create programs that bring families together from across the country to celebrate our diversity.

As an advocate, I fully support the other aspects of this bill. In order to understand how bullying is affecting Massachusetts’ students, we need to collect data at the state level. In order to determine whether this bill is protecting our youth, I support extending the Commission through June 30, 2013.

I would again like to thank the Chairs, the Committee, and Attorney General Coakley for highlighting the importance of preventing bullying and I urge the Committee to support HB 3584.

Thank you.

Brent Wright

Andover, Massachusetts

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